So this is life ?! ....

lilhooch3xox @ 2007-05-11T18:38:00

2007-05-11T22:59:17Z

This is honestly just a waste of time. Ha ! I figured I'm bored - why not reminisce (sp?) I read all my entries from back when i first started this shit. I was pretty pathetic in '04-'05. But watever, they were memories.. It's life! I'm listening to James Blunt - You're beautiful and all I thought of was Dave ... Dave and sum more Dave, cuz that was my ring tone for most of the time I was with him. I'm not now. Life has been ok for the most part. I'm graduating next spring .. set date! I'm excited .. finally got my life together and now I know whats going on with work and school. Yesterday was my last day of classes .. and no school is not out for the summer. Fatty is taking a summer math course. May 21 - June 21 Tues, Wed, Thurs nights 6-9. Oh what a bummer! Then in June the fam and I are are getting a condo down in Rehobath Beach. Awesome! Can't wait! Planning sum summer camping trips as well. Well I'm sick and wanna go to sleep but instead I'm gonna go out wit Tashie and Brittany maybe Alexis as well who knows - but the worse thing I can do is stay home on a Friday night and go to sleep early knowing I'm getting depressed from reading this shit. Fuck it lol Byeeeee

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-11-16T00:59:00

2005-11-16T06:17:35Z

What up g ?!
Well I just read my last journal entry .. and god I remember that ! It sucked, but I cant complain .. my life is great right now *knock on wood*. It's like I've changed .. still the same person, same personality, same fatty - just been alot more care free. I've kinda been hangin wit different groups, and I like it. The drama ... I've taken it down a knotch. I don't contribute to it n e more, and that is the best feeling in the world. Like I don't care n e more for it realli, I'm just not involved. I'm also in love. It is the greatest feeling in the world. Today was mine and Dave's 2 months. The first month, I have to say was "rocky" .. we fought like every day, broke up every other day .. it was bad. Now, OMG we're just awesome. I'm with him pretty much everyday ... and now its just like I look at him thru a totally different pair of eyes than before. This past month has been just undescribable. Being with him, just makes me feel complete. I love him, and I can honestly say that and mean it. I've said it to 2 of my ex boyfriends .. who I thought I meant it to .. but Dave is just soo much different and love w. him is just a whole other level. He is the sweetest guy ever and he puts me before n e thing in his life. I've been really sick lately .. doctors dont exactly know wat it is .. but I get realli sick/throwin up from like certain foods. Dont exactly know from wat foods but .. yeah n e ways - He is the first guy who instead of goin out and "chillin wit his boys" came and sat in my room wit me, layed in the same bed as I layed there half dead. Its sooo amazing. Theres no words to explain how I feel. I realli see a future w. him and I love that feeling. The other night, he bought me 2 dozen of pink roses. I almost cried! I realli don't know wat else to say .. I mean all I could do is brag bout Dave, cuz he is just soo amazing and I have him. I just wanted to make it known that I am by far the happiest girl in the world, now that I am with Dave. I LOVE HIMM!! I'll update wenever. xox Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-10-05T23:34:00

2005-10-06T03:48:21Z

I don't know wat the fuck is wrong wit me lately. I've been isolating myself from everyone and everything and it sucks. I've been cryin 24-7 and I realli don't know why. I realli don't. Mayb its due to the fact that I do wanna be wit Dave - and just cuz I don't see it happening so it upsets me ... Mayb its due to the fact I feel like my best friend is bein taken away from me ... Mayb it due to the fact that I'm not sure if I like this other kid and I'm afraid to move on from Dave ... Mayb its due to the fact of that all my friends are different now - I'm not sayin in a bad way - like we've moved on from how close we were during the summer. I just feel like I've lost everyone and everything in the past 2 days. And I know certain people are there for me and they don't mean to hurt me - but I don't know I just can't help it. I've been closer w. Mike and Kayla alot lately, and I love 'em to death and I have a blast wen I'm w. them but don't get me wrong - It's just weird that they're the ones I'm hangin wit 24-7 lately and its just weird. I honestly have no fuckin clue. I'm just one depressed piece of shit, and I'm just getting annoyed w. myself. If like I wanna smack myself and say "Listen u fat waste of life, ur 19yrs old, get ahold of urself. Life goes on." But hey before this gets out of control - and I die cuz I can't catch my breath from cryin so much right now - I'll leave it at that I hope things get better and this isn't a sympathy call or a call out for help at all - believe me !! Infact I prefer if sumone wants to talk to me, don't bring my feelings up, cuz I will just start to get upset and I will get in a bad mood - or you can leave it at the fact that I just wanna b alone ! OMG ill update soon xox Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-10-04T18:11:00

2005-10-04T22:15:39Z

Yeah so REALLLL quick update here ... considering I have no time cuz I got class in like 20 min and I realli wont have n e time later.
Me and Dave broke up ... I went over his house today after work and gave him a 3 page letter - that had nuttin but the truth in it. Exactly how i feel towards him and just love like in general. Yeah soo ... we're just friends.
Then I talked to Becky. I feel so much better. Like I know things arent gonna go back to how they were during the summer cuz no one has the time now that we had then. Just knowing that Im str8 wit her and that we can still def b friends. I miss how things were ... not gonna lie. k thats it got class ?! I DO !! kloveyoubye

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-10-02T21:12:00

2005-10-03T01:27:30Z

I don't know where to start. Indeed it has been a while. Everything is straight, I guess, Its as straight as it could get when ur in situations like me. My status with family is awesome, friends - there are problems ... but theres not much I can do n e more. I got my other friends, so Im good. That sounds fucked up, but Im just tired of feeling at odds w. people. Nothing is ever the same once skool starts and it sucks. School sucks ... I suck. I'm not tryin - well I am - Im trying my best, but my tests are horrible.
Im still w. Dave. We broke up there for a total of like 7 hrs .. but yeah. David is one awesome child and I'm lucky to have him. <3
Im not gonna get in to details here - cuz Im beyond exhausted ... Im strugglin to keep my eyes open right now !! Today we went to The Big E - it was awesome. SO MANY LAUGHS. I almost pissed my pants so many times. We followed Amy Jacci Mike and 2 other children up there - but once we got there, we spilt. I found it a bit fucked up at first but watever. So it was me, Betty, Zak, Mike & Kayla. Between Mike at the dollar booth and Zak doin Emily Rose, running around skawking at random people and hitting an old lady at Wendys in the back of the head ... I havent laughed like I did today in a long ass time. It was soo funnn... Pictures, Im sure will b up on myspace soon. I felt realli sick after bein there for a lil bit but it got better after a while. Well im gonna go - I wanna sleep so bad right now. Good Night - xox Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-09-21T22:01:00

2005-09-22T02:27:25Z

Well Hello There ...
I don't know where to start. I guess ... wit the guys since thats where I left off last. Well I have been goin out w. Dave since the 15th. I am happy w. him, but the thing is ... I always think of the future and I always wonder how it's gonna be. I just don't see any similarities wit my life and how it is now and how I picture it will be, if that makes n e sense ?! Dave & I have gotten into numerous amounts of fights since then ... but we always end up makin up. I say it just brings us closer. Ugh .. but I dont know. The onli way to find out wat my future holds for me is to just live it out. I admit, I do feel bad for Martin, but thats all I am goin to say bout that.
Im SOOOO looking forward to tomorrow ... I took off from everything and I'm going to the BIG E wit my fam and Zak. It shall b fun .. and im lookin forward to sayin good times were had by all. I also have made plans w. Amy - for a trip up to the big E again on Oct. 2nd and a trip to six flags on the 16th. And I'm sorri we didnt check it over wit everyone to make sure it was ok that we did make plans. I didn't know I had another set of parents .. but n e ways. It shall be fun. I know im forgetting to say alota stuff right now .. its just my minds blank and I decided I will not waste n e more of ur precious time. kloveyoubye XoX Jess XoX

i think I'll becum a lesbian .. haha

2005-09-14T04:00:27Z

Ughh!! I am just soo confused ... I realli am. I don't know where to start. I guess bcuz I've been obsessing over this song *I wanna no wat love is* and a few other love songs, it's like now I'm obsessing over the fact I want to find sumone to love, I need sumone to love ... and it's like I'm tryin to make certain relationships turn into that, and it's just not right. I'm getting soo annoyed wit myself. LoL if that makes sense .. or if it's even possible. Dave has been acting weird .. maybe he senses that I'm just weird right now. And the truth is yeah, I like him. When I'm a bitch to him, or try n get him off my ass - I just wanna go off and slice my throat or something. I feel like a duechbag .. It's stupid of me to even act like that towards him bcuz he is byfar one of the nicest guys u'll ever meet. I honestly wanna say I don't deserve him but ... Theres been that chain letter thingy goin around myspace sayin re-post this saying I want that guy - I don't no if n e one knows wat I'm talkin bout. And I truely think I'm one of those girls that as much as they would like a guy to b like Dave or something they always go for the ones that treat them like shit. I think Dave is too nice sumtimes. He never gets mad at me, or hangs up in my face or is sarcasticly mean to me & It's just weird. My last relationship was exactly like that - and look where it landed me. God - this is soo hard. Then there's Martin. My ex-bf from like 3 yrs ago. I kno .. u don't even understand, the majority of the people I talk to, r like he was in the past he didn't work out then and he's not gonna now. I've just been been gettin alot closer wit him lately & like that connection we had wen we were like wat seems to b wen we were like 12 is kinda there, but it's like I have a wall in the way and I can't let it happen. He just broke up with his gf hopefully bcuz that's wat he realli wanted. Like I'm not gonna lie, me and my friend Amanda talk bout it wenever her & I talk. Martin has had problems. And I know I'm gonna cum off as such a fuckin hypocrite here, but no one knows how much it pisses me off wen either one, Martin or Dave call me and they're fucked up either drunk or high. I don't kno y. And I just don't want to cum second to either one w. drugs bein first. I don't wanna seem like a big player here, cuz I'm not trying to be. I'm just confused right now, especially after tonight, I've been thinkin bout this shit all day. I'm just gonna take it slow, and see where it leads me .. mayb time will tell with both.
Now that I just spend my whole life typing that I realli don't wanna type bout n e thing else. I talked to Becky yesterday morning in class ... but I didn't get my sorry out tho. School just gets in the way wit all of us. But I'll just say I feel better now in my situation w. her. Saturday night, I made plans wit Stephanie. I'm muy excited. We'll go to din din and mayb pray that there will b men walkin around servin us in onli short tight red shorts wit their dick hangin out the side. h to the double o t e r s !! HOLLLLA!! K I'm done I gotta wake up at 6am tomorrow yayayayayayay!! kbye xox Jess

Im PuMpEd BiOtCh !!

2005-09-12T01:39:26Z

Hey! Hey! Hey!
Wats good homies ?! I'm onli updating cuz I'm bored and it's been a few days. I'm not in the mood tho, so this entry therefore shall not be long. I'm in one of those realli hyper but lazy moods. So being hyper really defeats the purpose don't u think?! I'm too lazy to go burn sum calories or something.
Alright so here's the deal. This weekend was pretty awesome .. "good times were had by all". Indeed they were Zak. Friday night, I went to the festival wit Betty, Zak, and Zak's friends Mike & Bob. The dudes are RAD. Definatly, almost pissed my pants a few times at the diner. Me & Betty both got these air-brushed license plates things wit our names on it. They're very purty. Last night, was fun! I got a burn mark on my forehead, that fuckin burns like fuck if i sweat the littlest bit or take a shower & water gets on it. LoL my fault tho. Drama continued last night, but it ended kinda funny, i think. Me & Betty car-pooled to work today bcuz we both worked the same exact times - so yes, we strattled a cop car and told him that we car-pooled. It was funny.
The boy thing - Me & Dave are str8 I guess, but it just seems like we fuckin argue at least once a night. It aggrivates the fuck out of me. Like sumtimes I'm like wtf .. Fuck It ?! But part of me doesn't wanna give up that easy. I don't know confusing topic if u ask me.
My situation w. Becky right now is bothering me. I know mayb she doesn't consider it a situation realli, but I think it's my guilt coming thru. It's just wen I'm with certain people, certain friends .. we lose track of time & and do stupid shit. Then by the time I think of it it's too late and I fuck Becky over once again. And I'm sorry. I remember there bein an entry around this time last yr bout the same thing. I'm just afraid to confront her on the subject. Yeah, so I HAVE NO BALLS - who cares ?!
k im goin ... gotta do homework and go to bed early. Tomorrow is my first Psych. class, I'm excited!
kloveyabye - xox Jess

Yikes. . .

2005-09-07T02:40:11Z

This is gonna be such a short non-detailed entry, its not even funny. I'm sooo tired and it's not even 10:30, so right after Real World - Im goin to bed. It was a blah day, woke up early to just fight wit people all morning. So I went to work 15 min late and all pissed off and in a bad mood.

I had my first class today. It's algebra & my friend Christine is my class along wit my cuzins bf Jim. Christine was in my first class ever last yr. But Jim is smart and I look forward to sitting next to him and him helping me thru the class for the rest of the year. I have over 100 problems to do for homework. Im scared lol cuz I have no idea wat Im doin. So if n e one knows wat the fuck to do w. rational, irrational &/or set builder notation then fuckin get ahol' of me asap!! k well Im goin to bed NOWWW ... kloveyabye
xox jess xox

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-09-06T00:25:00

2005-09-06T04:55:15Z

What a day ... sigh ... !! It was boring because there was no labor day picnic to go to. Uncle Mike and LiL Mikey came over tho. It was a nice peaceful day to get my mind off everything thats buggin' me recently. I cleaned my room, I can actually see my floor!! For me, thats impressive. Around 7pm, I decided I'd go meet up w. Jordain & her "friend" Patrickk @ Target. I followed them back to Southern & hung @ Jordain's dorm. It was fun .. and I definatly miss hangin w. her. :) It's sad that we weren't that close towards the end of this past summer. I look forward to hangin w. her & Patty Porter again very soon. We're talkin' Thursday. I'm considering the idea of applying to Southern & mayb getting transfered there, & mayb even living there!! I think I'm getting too far ahead of myself, but I think it would b awesome to live w. her. LoL I'm gay !!
Since last night's entry - Drama has risen once again. I didn't mean ne thing bad about last night's entry @ all but yet sumhow I have set a record breaking comment toll of 11 !! LoL - In the out cum of it, I IMed Matt's gf Stephanie, who I have no problem w. watsoever. I don't have ne reason to be, I'm definatly not one of those girls who wine and bitch bout the new girl their ex-bf is seeing. I just wanted to settle it all. I said once before - Im getting sick of Drama - and I know Drama = East Haven, but It's sickening. I'm telling the God's honest truth - wat I told her is the truth. I have pics and voicemails to prove it. I know Matt is gonna beat me into the ground for this one, but I don't care, she deserves to know the truth. I'm sorry once again.
Next thing, Dave. I realli don't know wat to say. He is definatly as fickle as I am. He doesn't know what he wants, and or he doesn't know how to deal the situations he's been put in these past few days. He has this "close friend" who hates my guts. LoL the feeling is mutual & I don't even know the chick. She's gettin into and I think telling him stuff and he's believing it. He was fine & able to deal with the procrastination that I was talking bout last night just grand but now all of a sudden he's bitching about it. She's definatly putting thoughts into his head. Not to start trouble, he's kind of selfish. Just because I don't answer his IM's right away, he blows up and tells me - it's done. I know he wants to hang and call me or see as much as possible & he gets mad wen we don't. He doesn't know everything that happens in my life and I'm just sorri I can't fit everyone and everything into my agenda. If thats wat he wants then I guess, so be it.
..Sigh.. once again. I feel a bit relieved although aggrivated at the same time. But watever - Im gonna go to bed, or at least attempt to because I have work all day tomorrow and tomorrow night is my first class. Wish me luck and I'll be here tomorrow - same time, same place to tell you guys all bout it.
kmuchlovenite!! xox Jess xox

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-09-05T00:55:00

2005-09-05T05:38:31Z

Hey !! I'm super excited, I've decided to start this up again. And I tried my best to make it cute .. and me being computer illiterate, believe me, it wasn't easy. :) I know it's been months & months since my last update and ha, its been quite the eventful / drama - packed past few months. I will definatly say that much, but I won't get into details, because I know it will cause shit, and that is not wat I started this up again for. I sound all fuckin' mature lol.
Yes, so it's September 5th 2005 - Summer 'o5 has officially ended. It was awesome, some new kids joined, sum old kids dropped out .. but it was definatly kool. School starts Tuesday night. I decided to try out sum night classes this semester, and I have classes pretty much scattered thru-out my days now. So I'm considered a "full-time student" this semester (4 classes). I have a computer class bright & early wit Becky. I took Physc., Algebra & Accounting .. again. I took it last semester, but I had it early - and I'm NOT a morning person. So I technically didn't give it my all, I skipped it like every other morning. I'm kinda looking forward to skool starting. I'm definatly gonna have a busy schedule between skool and I still have the 2 jobs, which I guess r going ok. So I don't know - we'll give it a shot.
I still pretty much have the same closest friends as the last update. It's definatly changed since high skool, and no words can express how much I wanna go back. I'm not ready to grow up and turn into sum mature adult. I'm like a 15-17 yr old girl trapped in a 19 yr old's body. IT SUCKS!!
Tonight was quite the night. I considered it my last summer night .. and although sum wanted to make a drama filled night - Me & Betty just wanted to have fun. Zak came along & we spent a good hour @ Taco Bell. We bonded wit a set of parents who seemed to be old cracked out hippies who still thought they were our age. They had a daughter who was cute, and undressed a barbie & continued to rub it on my arm thru out that hour of sitting there. Betty & Zak had sum fun wit a few guys that worked there and a bunch of "new customers" that agreed that they'd dance wit them after they got their food. Zak did the tango w. sum chubby kid - it was hilarious but I honestly think the moment of the night was wen Betty congratulated the other chunkster "Chunk", as we called him after he won a Taco playin sum coin game. She ran up to him gave a double high-five and jumped up and hit chests. It was awesome. I think I pee'd myself. It was definatly a fun night to end the summer with. I hope things don't change once skool and work starts taking over my schedule.
The "guy - category" has also taken a turn for the worse. I don't assocaite with any of the guys realli in my last entry. I don't care tho, everything happens for a reason. I can definatly and proudly say I have absolutely no feelings left for Matt, at least in that way. It's a good thing. I have had other ex-bf's creeping their ways back into my life, and I'm not sure exactly if I like it. Then there's Dave. Dun-Dun-Dun. Im just kiddin. I tried goin out wit him and then it ended over suttin stupid. I don't know if it has something to do with the fact, that I'm tired of getting hurt, and even tho it seems like he would never do it .. my fear over-cums it. I'm afraid of doing it again, even tho I'm considering the idea. If it cums off ... as I'm playing games to n e of these people, then I'm sorry. I'm a fickle fuck. I'm sorri Dave, I realli am. But this is where I'm gonna end it .. I'm tired & I wanted to go to sleep a good 2 hrs ago. O well - Good Night y'all.
xo Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-04-13T08:59:00

2005-04-13T15:05:26Z

Wat the hell has been up?! Teacher gave us time to do a research project in the library and I figured my computer is a jewish homosexual and i wont b able to get ne thing done on mine so Ill update all my shit on here. Tons of shit has changed since my last update. I got a car finally ... its mine. Its a '99 Altima. I like it. N e guys that I talked bout in the past or that I kinda liked are more than likely just my friends now. Theres nuttin going on wit n e one. I do still like the asshole Jason from work, but he doesnt no how to use a phone since his cell is broke and i dont call him n e more. We onli see eachother in work and he acts like nothing has changed from wen we were kinda more than friends like 2 months ago. We were pretty much going out - we were constantly together, everyday back then. Now its just wen he wants. I dont care as much because now i no how he is and wat he tries to pull wit me. Not gonna deny that I still do have feelings for him but watever. Its not worth getting my heart broken everytime. I fucked up things wit Rob - bcuz he wanted suttin wit me and I was too hooked on Jay.
Lately things have changed BIG TIME in the friends category. Me Serena n Becky pretty much settled things wit Stepanie and there has been no beef since then. Us 3 went n hung out wit her I think twice since. Im totally stressin lately wit both jobs n skool. Ive been slackin wit skool and work seems like all I do. I cant wait for the fuckin summer. I have been hangin out wit Jordain n Jose alot lately. I do everything wit them and that leads to hangin wit Stephanie more and her bf Sean. I love how things turned out and I regret all the shit that was going on in the summer this past yr. Ive met Sean 2 times and the kid is fuckin awesome. Hes hilarious. I think we all have plans (me jordain jose staphanie n sean) this weekend. Ya no - ud think i feel like the 3rd wheel always hangin out wit either of em but i dont. I love hangin out wit them - we're always havin fun and doing suttin. Things have changed wit Amanda as well. We arent realli friends at this point. Suttin happened - wont get into it. and now shes pissed off. I know its more that her bf doesnt want her talkin to me and shes just going wit it. But watever, Im not gonna sit here and wait til wenever she decides to talk to me again. Well I dunno class is over its 11:00 and I needa go home and um wow go to work. No suprise there.
Ill update soon promise!! LoL <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-03-02T16:50:00

2005-03-02T22:25:51Z

Wat the hell is up ... there is litterally nuttin up wit me. To tell u the truth I dont ever no y I am updating, mayb just becuz im at work and im supposed to b doing suttin right now and im kinda bored, so y not take a break right?! Fuck Yes !! Wow Im stumped ... I realli dont no wat to write bout. Dad gives me n e reason he could not to get n e car im intrested in. I want a galant and im not gonna stop bein a ball-breaker til i get it. Hes givin me balls bcuz I got into an accident last week and totaled Mom's car. It was my fault but the cunt hit me and she was speeding. So yeah - Mom n Dad keep sayin we're so glad u didnt get hurt(cuz onli my back hurts) but yet they keep sayin start savin up - ur payin wen the insurance goes up. I dont get it - insurance went up after mom got into an accident last month and I have to pay her difference too!! Its fuckin horse shit! LoL Wow i havent said that since the games in the summer wen i yelled to the el dwarf behind the plate. Well Im gonna go. Finish this and then go food shopping for Mom. We'll talk "MEN" next entry <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-02-18T22:24:00

2005-02-19T03:34:58Z

wats ^ ... i figured id update since im on a computer that wont shut down or die wen im in the middle of writing an entry. Im over the el Nigro residence - I just got finished doing amys poster. its been fun tonight ... um alot of shit has changed since like a month ago (the last time i wrote). Skools realli good i got like two 95 averages in my accounting class and reading and then like a 80 in my english class. It sucks but its hard. I know the last time I wrote I mainly talked bout which guys I was diggin - doesnt realli matter now since I hate like all of 'em. LoL I like have A.D.D wen it cums to guys ... like i like em for like a week then all a sudden i cant stand em n e more and they get on my nerves. I like Rob and Jason (the one from work) the most right now. Um along wit skool ... I still got the 2 jobs. Stop n Shop asked me to try out bein CDH - I dont no how long it will last ... its fun (prolli cuz its suttin new) but stressing at the same time bcuz sumtimes everyone needs u at once ... and they're all yellin my name. And its like wen the guys scream my name --- ahhhh I no u like screamin my name but cmon not in public - im just kiddin.But the time is different too - I like never work til 12 n e more its great !! Im always out by like 9 930. I dont no - Im gonna go attempt to watch the notebook ... we've been tryin to watch this since like 830 - 9 and now its like 1030. Ill update like next month lol <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-01-24T15:59:00

2005-01-24T21:23:30Z

Hey Losers !!
I have to make this sooo short bcuz Im at work and im afraid that i might get caught!! Today was the first day of the new semester .. it was awesome. I have the class wit Kayce, so its kool. Im not used to the class bein soo big considering the ones last semester were soo small. But Holler ... N e ways Men blow soo much - I still feel the same way towards Matt as I did last time .. so yeah I deserve a nice pat on the back for that one. Rob can bite me too .. well me and him are just gonna continue being friends cuz he just calls wen he wants. Then there was the famous Jay that I work wit at Stop n Shop ... I like him alot dont get me wrong, but I hear he has a gf and hes tellin me different So i dunno. We'll see ... but hey the guy list goes on - FUCK YOUS !! Im playin the field!! :) Lastly theres Antonio ... the kid I used to like - like um 2/3 yrs ago. He was in my CCD class. Well I dunno ... gotta go finish my shiznick - and leave by 5. Ill update later!! <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-01-11T17:28:00

2005-01-11T22:40:17Z

hey wats !? im gonna keep it short n sweet tonight. im over my friend amandas house right now, im gonna b sleepin over again tonight .. havin a grand ol' time as usual. Life has been goin pretty well overall. Ive been goin over Rob's house wit my cuzin Amanda alot lately .. Mixed feelings on that .. prolli cuz my feelings never realli changed aout him from last yr. We just got in a fight and stopped talkin and had no real reason to associate n e more ... like no friends were there to help mend wat we had. And then plus shortly after that I was goin back out wit Matt. Matt ... lol... good subject - im done, i realli am. Im not tryin n e more and Im sayin this sooo honestly right now. I think im gettin over him finally, I have a reason tho this time and mayb this is wats pounding it into my head for good. He "loves" sumone else, as much as i ask him bout it, he denies it. So i dont care. No one knows how serious Im bein right now, and i no its no sweat off his back .. so there. LoL wow well I dont no. Me and Amanda are planning this camping trip this summer like june/july ALONE like NO parents ... just us and our friends. Its gonna b fun ... cant wait. Well I realli cant think bout n e thing else to write bout ... ill update sum other time. Much Love <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2005-01-01T15:31:00

2005-01-01T20:58:31Z

Wat is up ?! It is now ... 2005 !! I cant believe how fast 2004 went by .. its over already. I have tons of memories which I will never forget cuz they happened wit great people - just wow... Well Christmas is over, went over pretty good, lol left me in debt but its all good. I was sick all last week and I missed like 4/5 days of work, it sucked huge ass!! Last night, which was new years eve of course was good, even tho it ended kinda sucky. I went ice skating for the first time in my life yesterday wit Betty Serena and Zak. They had a lot of patience and I thank them. LoL. But ne ways it was the first New Years I didnt go to my Aunt's house, I went to Becky's. I picked Betty up at like 8 and we went and got an ice cream cake. We couldnt find one that didnt say happy bday so we bought the red gel stuff where u can write urself and underneath happy bday i wrote - in swedish means happy new year. - It was funni - I love Betty!! Hangin out wit the Summer Crew again was great, it was like ol' times again, only this time it was a tad bit kooler cuz Kinky K joined us. We pranked people who had the last name Semen and it was awesome. We attempted to prank Jamie Fowks Balls and it had a negative turn out. Around 1130, I decided to go back to my house realli quick wit Betty just so I could watch the ball drop wit my parents. Thanks Betty! Chris left then too but we all went back to Beckys after. People started to leave again for good around 130ish I say, Betty was supposed to b home at 1. Brought her home and Kyle called me, tellin me to go over Rob's house cuz he was over there. Keep in mind Rob was the kid I talked to/ realli like last yr around this time last year. I thought it was weird how that worked out, how I hadnt talked to him in almost a year and then Im hangin out wit him like 2 nights in a row. Me and my cuzin Amanda went over there Thurs. night, that night was fun too. Shit happened last night wit Rob that I dont regret watsoever LoL except the fact that I drank a lil too much and I ended up almost throwin up during the middle of it. LoL kinda embarrassing but watever I dont care! LoL I stayed there til like 430am! I was supposed to b home around 130, but I didnt even call my parents and I guess thats my fault y things ended sucky. Wen Chris was walkin me to the car, my Dad calls fuckin flippin. I was sooo scared ... I sped home and wen I walked in I told hime I was realli sorri and that I had fallen sleep and i dont no sum other bull shit excuse. He told me he didnt even wanna talk to me, that he was soo pissed. LoL So looks like I can get the car onli to go to work, we'll see how long that lasts tho :D Well I have work at 430 so I have to go just wanted to update! Happy New Year Everyone!! <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-12-22T01:02:00

2004-12-22T06:09:51Z

I got this from Amy - I was bored so I filled the damn thing out like she said to do ?! DAMNIT!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:45ish a.m.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Um .. Saw wit Jay

4. What is your favorite TV show? Real World

5. What did you have for breakfast? I went out this morning, 2 poached eggs on wheat toast wit home fries

6. What is your middle name? Anne

7. What is your favorite cuisine? um wats cuisine mean?

8. What foods do you dislike? pickles, cucumbers, bacon, um i dunno but the list does go on

9. What is your favorite chip flavor? salt and vinegar

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Hanson's Christmas one ... Snowed In

11. What kind of car do you drive? Mom's

12. Favorite sandwich? Pb & J

13. What characteristics do you despise? anorexic cunts who walk around thinkin their shit dont stink

14. Favorite item of clothing? Dont have one

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? England prolli

16. What color is your bathroom? white wit beige tiles on the walls

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Aeropostale or Old Navy

18. Where would you retire to? my bed

19. Favorite time of day? night i think

20. What was your most memorable birthday? I gotta say the suprise one that Amanda n my mom planned for my 16th. It was wen i actually got along wit all my old westies.

21. In what state were you born? CT

22. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball prolli

23. Who do you least expect to fill this out? dont no dont care

24. Person you expect to fill it out first? Ur mom

25. What fabric detergent do you use? I dunno watevers down there

26. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-12-19T16:38:00

2004-12-19T21:46:25Z

I dont want to type ne thing at all today but I think I have to cuz its been a while. I have work in 17 min and I dont wanna go. Its one of those days where I just wanna lay around and do nuttin. Last night was the Christmas Party for work (Burzenski) I decided to go last minute and I couldnt get ahold of Betty so I told Amanda to cum wit me. We had a good time overall. We were suprised that the food sucked considering that this place was in Madison n they were all rich cunts. We got lost on purpose bcuz it took us faster to get there than planned so we were drivin around admiring all the mansions. There was one house that had like 95 windows (no lie) and each fuckin window had a fuckin wreath on it. LoL Man they're losers. Then we kinda left early bout 10:30 and went to West Haven where Amanda almost faught this fag Jon. I swear shes a tuff bitch - she knows how to stick up for herself. But yeah she slept over and she IMed Matt sayin sum stuff - I dont no exactly wat was said but i hope it wasnt stupid. But yeah I gotta go to work now -- Much Love <33 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-12-12T13:37:00

2004-12-12T18:50:03Z

I figured I'd update since I have nuttin better to do. But keep in mind I WILL make this short and sweet bcuz I got my nails done and I hate typin wit nails and most likely WILL get the urge to vomit while im writing this. This sux ... Its onli been 2 days of throwin up and sum other symptoms but its like every 2 seconds ur runnin to the bathroom bcuz ur gonna puke n e second. I thought I just had a bug .. or suttin but my Dad is convinced cuz no one else out of the 7th Heaven crew has symptoms of this that I have food poisioning. I dunno - I called out of work last night, and I no its prolli too late to call out today bcuz I have to b in, in 3 hours. This fuckin blows, mayb ill blow chunks on sumone at work and then have to go home. LMAO that'd b awesome.
Skool is constantly on my mind right now, considering I have like 3 essays to write and my final to do by Tuesday's 1pm class. Thursday is my last class and I wanna cry. It went by too quick. I love my english class and everyone in it ... and Math class is just funny as hell bcuz I took like the first 3 weeks seriously then I just started talkin to Nicole which led to talkin to Sam. Now I cant get enough of them. I will never see them again - how upsetting.
As for Matt, LoL, yeah um havent talked to him since like thursday. So much for bein in love again. I do but here I am at the point where I tell myself its not worth the wait. I dont think he wants the same as me, and thats fine. I realli dont care ne more. Time is a realli big issue to me lately, between skool, 2 jobs and Chirstmas time (shopping and just pure hectic-ness) I have no time for myself. My dad tells me I have to much on my plate .. of course I just snap back at him askin if that was a fat joke. LoL - well im out gotta do homework n final and clean. Much Love - Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-12-08T13:43:00

2004-12-08T19:13:16Z

Hey Peeps
Wuddup ?! I know I havent updated in a few days and I dont really have the time nor the memory to explain wat went on. Yesterday was quite the day tho, It was the best in a while. On my break from skool, I went to West Haven ya no did the regular routine of pickin up Amanda and hangin out for a bit bfore I had to b back at skool @ 4. I asked if she would mind if we went to Carlos' casa (which is her ex bf, but one of Matt's like best friends) Me and Carlos talked the night b4 and he told me he'd have Matt b there. I was sooo excited, it was realli pretty pathetic if u ask me. Thank God I didn't realli express it that much, then I realli woulda looked like an ass. So ya no we hung out did sum shit :D . I remember in another entry I had written bout Matt in, I said that I was always gonna love him but I had given up ... well as you know that was mayb like a month and a half ago; I've cum to the conclusion now that I love him STILL!! I realli do try and forget bout him or get over him but no matter wat I do it's impossible. But watever I dunno its a very confusing subject - but ya no they always say follow ur heart ... and my heart has his name written all over it. LoL Man Im Gay -
So 4 o'clock came and went, I didnt go to class bcuz, I guess you can say my friend, Sam didnt end up going. Hes like my note buddy, I dont realli pay attention to that class n e more bcuz the teacher is just a fuckin wackazoo and me and Sam seem to get along and its just fun wit him there. So n e ways I didnt go to class and I went to drop Amanda back off at her house so she could a few things for her Madre. We made plans that she would cum back to my house considering I didnt have to work last night. So wen I got out of the car to go in and help Amanda finish watever faster I ended up locking my keys in the car. So there I was in 30 degree weather wit a t-shirt on and it was startin to rain a lil bit again. This kid Ken, who I used to hang out wit along time ago, who happens to live next door to Amanda came out and tried to help but nope no luck. Finally had to call the fire dept. It was embarrassing, now thats happened twice in the 5 days that Ive had my license. LoL Shows how many more times thats gonna happen. So n e ways as soon as they were done me and Amanda jumped in the car and went to my house. I had to be home by the sad time of 9pm bcuz my mom was pissed that I never cleaned my room. I told my parents that Amanda's bro was gonna pick her up from our friend Chris' house but of course I lied and I realli brought her home. I didnt even stay at Chris', I dropped Amanda off there and told her to call me wen she was done ... LoL *wink wink* I picked her back up, and started to go to WH. We had to stop at this kid Robbie's house bcuz his bookbag was in my car ( i still dont no how it got in there lol ) dropped her off, stopped at Martin's cuz him and J- Rod were outside. That was weird considering I havent talked to Martin in weeks bcuz we were fighting and I dont get along wit his new gf. I dropped J-Rod off at his house and @ 9:45 I started heading back East Haven. But on the way thru WH, I saw Matt and Carlos walking. Hes soo cute and I love him - Ahhhh n e ways ... stopped there for bout another 10 min ... then he kissed me and I was out. I dunno it was a great day even tho the result of getting locked outta my car is a realli bad cold and Im losin my voice. Its all good I saw Matt and thats all that counts ... LoL well I gotta b to work in 15 min and I still needa shower !!peace in the middle east!!

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-12-04T14:03:00

2004-12-04T19:48:28Z

Hey ya'll,
Yesterday was awesome ... lemme just tell ya!! Well just being able to go wherever I want, wenever I want.
In the morning, I went to the DMV by myself LoL and got my license ... most digusting pic ever. I got 5 chins, a crooked smile and lol the cam was blurry and it looks like I got a black eye. Yuck!! It looks like a real mug shot! Well ne ways - I went over Amanda's casa, after I went to the DMV and then over John's ( the kid I used to talk to/like a few months ago ) and then I went to work at burzenski til 530 and then to Stop n Shop til 10, I went to Becky's after. Around 12:20ish we left and drove around for a bit. We had soo much fun and then thats wen I lost the ONE WAY sign it was stuck under my car. LoL Grand Times last night and the corn infested shit. LoL You guys are the best!! LoL Ill update later on.

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-12-02T10:46:00

2004-12-02T16:03:02Z

Hey fuckers !!
Holy fuckin sheep shit - December 2nd is like the fuckin best day of my life so far !! I got my license officially. No more driving illegally. This is fuckin awesome, you realli dont no how happy I am right now! Im like a fuckin pig in shit!! So yes now I'm going to fuckin go celebrate ... Im gonna go get ready n shit, go get my check, meet Amanda for lunch and then go to skool. I cant believe this. I realli cant holler back dawg!! Ill update within the next few days! <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-11-30T11:43:00

2004-11-30T17:01:35Z

Whats ^ ?!
I dont have much time to write bcuz I have class in an hour and I still need to take a shower and get dressed. But I figured I'd update since things did somewhat change since my last entry. Me and Becky are talking again, still not as much as we were during the summer but thats just because our schedules are so different, but yet thats how each and every one of us are now that we are in school. I'm just so much more happier now in general. LoL Thats sounds gay but I guess things like this, that I just put aside from worrying about bother me alot sooner or later. Things with Amanda were the same up until yesterday, I had said something to her online and that lead to a conversation and talking some things out. I still dont think Ill be fully comfortable around her and Dave for a while, but I guess its alright now.

Im very, very happy that I have tonight and tomorrow off from Stop & Shop, it gives me more time to study for my test Thursday. God Help Me Pass This Time !! :) Well I dunno but Mom just told me to stop at the bank on the way to school so that means I get to stop at Dunks too, but it also means that I have 10 minutes to shower and get the fuck outta here. Much Love LoL <3 Jess

lilhooch3xox @ 2004-11-22T00:44:00

2004-11-22T06:16:44Z

Well I dont want to write much ... but alota things happened to me this weekend emotionally that I thought I should mention. As most of u know ... things have changed wit all the people I was inseperable with during the summer. I knew it was goin to change when I got this other job at Stop and Shop but never did I know that it was going to turn into this. I cant b myself n e more around them, Im talking about when Im working with Becky or Amy at Stop n Shop. Its too late to appologize ... its too late to ask 'em if they wanna hang out n e more ... its too late for everything and ne thing. Nobody knows how much it bothers me. I know they think it doesnt bother me, like the reason I havent called is cuz I was scared to call after like a week of not talking, just imagine how it is for me now. I dont, and Im not making an effort n e more because there is no use. Yeah Ill miss 'em and Ill never forget the memories and that last summer we all spent together before we came " real adults". It is soo weird how things turn out to be tho - I saw a few friends the other day that I havent seen or talked to since skool ended ... Ya no and u get into those conversations do u still hang out wit him or how bout her - Lemme tell u it is true wat they say (about the friendship[s never lasting after high school, that high school is the onli reason people saw and associated with one another) and I always thought it was going to be different wit me. The first words out of their mouths were ... do u still see Slater?! And its like ahhhhh wow - wen I said no their reaction was like omg y and yet they rnt still friends wit their "so-called" best friend from high skool n e more either. I dont no its a touchy subject with me - and I think thats y Im gonna end that subject there.

I know bfore that major gap of entries - where my comp was a jewish fleabag - I talked alot about Matt. Just a fact, its def over. I havent talked to him in weeks. I got my cell phone number changed with out him knowing and He moved and I didnt know bout it. I onli noticed cuz I drove by his house and there was a whole bunch of shit infront near the curb and there was a moving van .. common sense... lol. The onli way we could possibly ever talk again is if he is online and IMs me. Like I said its weird how things turn out. Mayb its a sign.

Another subject ... Amanda !! Ive officially cum to the conclusion that Im giving her space. I know it sounds like we're going out but its not like that going from best friends who saw eachother everyday of the summer last summer to slowly drifting apart and having like a "so called" friendship where we hardly spoke during this past summer then becoming close again a lil bit a few months ago - and now we're back on block B (hardly speaking during this past summer). Its weird. Shes always been the one with out the boyfriend and not wanting to get into a relationship - and I was the opposite. I dont fit into the West Haven crew n e more so therefore that is not a meet up point n e more between us and to tell u the truth I dont care. I knew I was going to out grow it one of these days. I realli dont get into the drama going on down there and the drama between her and Dave - I dont think its my position to care about wat happens. Why should I, I onli get ONE update every week and a half and I dont care.

Well those past three subjects were very touchy and writing each of them brought tears to my eyes ... but I have to let go of everyone sooner or later. I guess Im forced to in sum situations. I had to get it out one way or another. Its getting kinda late so Im gonna go to bed. Im planning to get up around 9ish tomorrow to go to the gym. I cheated there for a few days. Sountil next time - <3 Jess PS: I dont want this to seem like a plea to all of you guys who I was referring to its just the truth of how I feel on the situation .. just wanted to make it clear, and regardless of how I stand wit each and everyone of you I love yous!!